There is no single solution to the problem of lack of sex because of fatigue. But getting to the root of your problems and imbalances and solving those, as well as trying new things and being creative, will also bring your sexual desire back! There are some important aspects to consider, that will help you enjoy your sexuality while dealing with fatigue.
Hormonal Balancing
The easy, relaxed lifestyle experienced by our ancestors no longer exists, and we are not even aware of how much stress we are under. The reality is that our lifestyles have changed, but our bodies haven't. Adrenal insufficiency affects a high number of women and men living in a modern society and many times it can not be addressed with a healthy diet and exercise alone. Bioidentical hormone therapy balances your hormones, including the hormones released during stress, with customized prescriptions that fit your body chemistry.
Some typical hormones functions, not just levels, that need to be evaluated include thyroid function, growth hormone, testosterone, aldosterone, cortisol, DHEA, pregnenolone, estradiol, progesterone, among others. When they are properly treated and balanced, tremendous results can be achieved; energy can be restored, as can be your sex drive!
For example, Oxytocin can be prescribed by a physician and can be made into a nasal spray to be used before intercourse. It can be effectively used on a daily basis to counteract the loss of libido associated with antidepressant use. Testosterone is important for sexual desire in both sexes. Supplementation to more youthful levels can dramatically increase libido, sense of well-being, energy and quality-of-life.
Taking The Pressure Off
If you are feeling pressure or the weight of expectations (from you, your partner, and society) try to give yourself a break. Feeling bad can tire you out even more, since negative emotions and concerns are very consuming. Remind yourself that you're doing the best you can, and that things can eventually change.
Re-Finding Your Desire
If you don't believe that sex is a joyous, healthy, and fun thing to do, it can be hard to prioritize it. But if you really do want to have sex again and connect sexually with your partner, you can start by making a list about why sex matters to you. Don't use this as a reason to push yourself beyond what you can do physically, but do it to cultivate your desire and motivation.
It's All About Timing
Another lie we're told about sex is that it has to be spontaneous. Sex is never really spontaneous in that we're always planning at least a little in our heads. If you know there are times in the day when you feel less fatigued, try to make time then for sex. If you take medication and that has a predictable impact on your energy levels, talk with your doctor about timing your medication.
Sex Is More Than Intercourse
Sex is about energy that's emotional, spiritual, and physical. Just because you can't have intercourse the way you want to, doesn't mean sex can't have meaning and can't be hot and powerful. But you do need to fight some of the social expectations you have and be open to try new things.
You can kiss someone without moving anything other than your lips. The right kind of kiss (right time, right place, right energy) can take a partner to the heights of passion without requiring much physical exertion on your part.
Barbara Carrellas, an author and sex educator, does a lot of work with what she calls "erotic breathing." This is work that both requires and creates energy, but it doesn't require physical exertion. Our sexuality runs along the breath, and alone or with a partner, there are ways to create a sexual exchange through breath alone.
There are also some specific tantric techniques for gazing, but the basics are to be alone in a place where you have some quiet time, few distractions, and begin to look into each others' eyes. You can experiment with trying to communicate your sexual thoughts and desires without talking, just through your eyes. Combining gazing and breathing can be surprisingly powerful.
Another way of thinking about sexual touch is that you do it to experience the moment. It's not to achieve a goal in the future, but just to enjoy the very act of touch for what it is in the moment.
